Unfinished

The Cage pt 1

2011-08-05T20:56:00.000-07:00

Psalm 124:7 "We have escaped like a bird out of the fowler's snare; the snare has been broken and we have escaped."

Ever felt like you were trapped in a cage? Like every step brought you face to face with the steel bars of that cage. The gate, locked tight with no key in sight. Almost enough to make you panic.

Up until two nights ago, I was locked in that cage. I was caught in that snare.

For years, I have been caught up in the lie that is my past. All the pain I've endured, the hurtful mistakes and the wrong choices as well as the multiple failures have served to be the materials for crafting my cage. It is finely wrought, with bars of steel, a solid hook to keep it suspended off the ground and a door, closed and locked with a very fine lock.

I cannot get out. Or maybe I don't want to get out? It might seem like a strange thing to say, but part of that does ring true. I don't want to get out because it is comfortable. I've been there so long that I don't know what I'm missing. I've convinced myself that I could never survive outside the cage anyway. The perils of the unknown on the outside far outweigh any trials I've faced in my past.

And so, I stay, caged, dreaming of the day when I escape. For it is in the dreaming, and the not doing that I am at peace. I am safe in my misery.

But it is a lie...

Vanishing

2011-02-15T20:59:00.000-08:00

I see you there in shadow
Awash in the darkness
Echoes of night in your eyes
The light once bright has gone

Moon falls, the stars are veiled
Memory in hue of gray
Silent whispers, incessant screams
I hear it all
And nothing

Waking dreams of vapid art
Encased in ink and parchment
Littered shelves and covered floors
Accolades in silver and gold
Yet all is empty sentiment

Once upon a time
I was happy then
Before the never-ending night
When ink on page was mine
Now I see, much too late
Confined by my own success
A mouse in a cage

Nightmare ends
The dark night wanes
Step back from the mirror
Light streams amidst dawn's glow
All that was blackness and shadow
Vanishing
As I read Your words to me

Well then...

2011-02-14T08:10:00.000-08:00

I didn't make it. I didn't make it to the finals. It happens. It probably happens thousands of times per day. People are disappointed and rejected at publishers all the time. Sure, I had high hopes, but what aspiring writer doesn't. That doesn't mean I'm going to stop. Just because 3 jurors didn't see, that doesn't mean another 3 might not.

I am undeterred. Now I can post it for all to see. And isn't that what writing is for? So people can read it.

Look to this space in future. You just might get to read it.

Hewn

2011-02-11T19:34:00.000-08:00

When we delve or hew
With oft-practiced intent
Born of a maliced-heart
Heaven's gates are shorn
Laid bare, undone

Like stately oaks, so man
Felled by mighty ax
Golden streets awash, in flood
With the tears of angels

Such wanton disregard
Amidst the over abundancy
Of God's boundless love
Severed from the reckless grace
Found in the forever-king

Snow

2011-02-02T15:54:00.000-08:00

You know what I love? The sound new snow makes when you walk through the woods the morning after a big snowfall. The way it crunches and squeaks beneath your feet. The echoes in the trees. Especially here where I live. The sounds of the forest are muffled by the snow. Everything is so pristine and new-looking, like a freshly painted canvas.

The snow sparkles when you look at the right angle, each flake seeming to come alive and emit its own light. One could get lost in that light. I have for a time immersed myself in the glow of snow-light and forgotten. All that is happening in my life is swallowed up in the nothingness, almost like God planned it that way.

I forget, even just for a moment, everything that might be bothering me or causing me stress and enjoy the simplicity of snow. What a blessing. What a gift.

Yesterday we received about 15cm of the stuff. I think I'll go for a walk.

Encouragement from unexpected sources

2011-02-01T19:17:00.000-08:00

Thought it was about time to reacquaint myself and this blog. From now on, it will be just a place to write what's happening in my day or just something that's struck my fancy, so to speak. It probably won't be particularly interesting to anyone else, but who cares. Sometimes you just need a place to record your thoughts. Imagine if in those thoughts there were one paragraph, one sentence, one phrase or even one word that sparked the imagination to bigger and better things.

As I sit here trying to write poem number two in a collection of poetry about the Apostles, I find myself wandering from one internet site to another. That's the beauty of the internet -- the diversity of topics you can find there -- but it is also a curse. Tonight it is keeping me from the task at hand.

As I sift through the local news, check out the score of the Sens game (they lost again) and search FB to find out what everyone else is doing, I stumble across a friend's blog post. I'm reminded as I read the words that other writers go through the same struggles as I do. I am not unique in that.

Thank God. I was beginning to think it was just me.

But now that I have been reminded, I must get back to it. The blank page awaits for my words. May they be superfluous.

Nice word, eh?

Great Expectations?

2010-07-31T22:28:00.000-07:00

Everyone knows of one, I'm sure. Maybe it's a neighbour or a relative; a teacher you've had or a colleague perhaps? Could it even be you? I know I could name several without taxing my brain too much.

Have you crossed paths with a Schleprock or an Eeyore? I have, but I've also been one myself on more occasions than I'm proud of. If not, count yourself blessed. I am talking about the eternal pessimist, who can take a perfectly sunny day and turn it into bleak, cold misery, just by their attitude. Don't get me wrong, these people are absolutely necessary to stop all the optimists from taking over the world and turning it into some happy-faced utopia.

Those people blessed with the art of pessimism have honed it to a fine instrument. It is capable of all manor of complaint and discontent, sharpened to a razor's edge. The glass is not only half-empty, but cracked and much too big as well. Have you ever tried to keep water in a cracked cup?
It's not easy to be sure. Nor is it, to keep this attitude amidst all God's attempts to show us otherwise.

"So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them." Genesis 1:27

We were created in God's image. It says so right in Genesis. An image is a physical or mental representation of a person, animal or thing, photographed, sculpted, painted or otherwise made visible. It is also a form, appearance or semblance; to reflect the likeness of; mirror; to resemble. We were meant to be an accurate representation of the One who made us. Unfortunately, to resemble also means to possess some similarity to. It is not exact. It is a likeness of the original (perfect and flawless).

It can often be a little fuzzy around the edges, just a little less sharp than the original. The longer we live, the more we get faded and worn by circumstance. The less like the original we become.

All is not lost, however. We do have a choice how these circumstances affect us. We can choose to see the glass as half full, not half empty. The world may want us to be a Schleprock, but we were created in the very image of God, to be like Him and to act like Him. Would He see the half-empty glass of circumstance and pain? No, He would see the half-full glass of promise and possiblity. I too, would make that choice.

God loves us that much, that He would not force us to do what is right. He gives us the chance to make the decision for ourselves. Unfortunately, we often don't make the right choice. We choose to let circumstances affect us negatively. We choose to react in anger and despair and disgust, some of us even cursing the very one who gave us breath. All this serves to do is deepen our despair when things go less than perfectly.

In 2007, we lost everything we owned in a fire. We could have wallowed in despair but I knew that my loving Creator had a plan for us. He is faithful, so we trusted in Him, never doubting His promises. We were rewarded with a new house and a beautiful little girl from South Africa. We chose to respond with complete trust, never asking why us or wallowing in self pity. We are authors of our own story. It's only as good as we make it for ourselves.

The next time failure knocks at my door, I will politely let him in but he will not be allowed to stay. He will be there for as long as I need to learn something from him, then he's out. Failure is not a reason to give up and rue the day you were born. It's a chance to learn from your past and endeavour to not repeat it.

We need to be expectant on God. He has great plans for us. That is why we were created. I have great expectations for His plans for me.

I think I will take the word pessimism out of my dictionary.

unexpected rainbows

2010-07-29T19:04:00.000-07:00

Ever read something that just grabs a hold of you and won't let go? The first time I ever read Lord of the Rings was like that. So was Terry Brooks' Shannara series. The Bible, well, let's just say that God has a way of bringing all those different authors together to make something amazing that no publisher on earth could ever dream of duplicating.

I was reading a wonderful book the other night (The Hippo and the Unicorn - co-authored by my good friend Elaine Phillips) and came across the phrase "unexpected rainbows". It referred to those things that we see around us that bring us joy, especially when we are not expecting it. Often, they are the biggest, yet we often miss them unless we take the time to stop, look and listen. It got me thinking, as the two friends in the book shared their favourite things that bring them joy, there are many things that bring a smile to my face and for which I am truly blessed to be able to enjoy. It is but a small taste.

- sunrise on the water
- a gentle spring rain
- books (sometimes I just like to smell them)
- the laughter of children (innocent and truthful)
- the sound of darkness

- long overgrown paths (they are full of promise and mystery for me)
- spiderwebs covered with the morning dew
- ice-cold water (nothing is more refreshing)
- a library (it is so full of knowledge just waiting to be discovered)
- silence

- underdogs (I'm a sucker for these movies)
- the tartness of anything made with lemons (meringue pie)
- glistening snow, untouched by man or beast
- the feeling of freshly cleaned sheets at the end of a long day
- a kiss from the one you love

- Brandenburg Concerto played by Yo Yo Ma
- ocean waves lapping on the shore
- a brook deep in the woods
- memories of my grandparents
- running (especially in the rain)

- the beautiful game
- secret passageways (I've always dreamt of having one in my house)
- eagles, hawks and other birds of prey
- the brave little tailor (my favourite book as a child-I wanted to be him)
- movie previews (continue to capture my attention)

- fire
- the magic of spring
- how quiet it is after a snowfall
- castles
- all of God's promises exhibited in the rainbow

- comfortable silence (two people can be in the same room and not have to speak)
- the power of a thunderstorm
- dragonflies
- creating a new name that has meaning only to you
- poetry

- clouds with definite borders (cumulonimbus in particular)
- golfing early in the morning
- eating blueberries right off the bush (reminds me of my grampie)
- waking up without an alarm clock
- early morning mist in the hollows

These are but a few of the things that bring me joy, that I don't often remember at the time, but will be more aware of in the future. I suggest you follow the example of Hroshi and Evangeline. Take time to look up, listen to the sounds around you and capture a little of the joy that God intended for all of us.

"God saw all that he had made, and it was very good" Genesis 1:31

If it is very good for Him, might it be good enough for us?

I most emphatically think so!

Welcome to Oblivia, Population: you

2010-07-09T19:35:00.000-07:00

What would it be like to live in a place where nothing anyone around you did, mattered? A place where there was no responsibility taken for any action. Rules would not matter because there would be none.

More than likely, you have experienced it. I know I have.

Driving down the highway, you come across a long line of cars, trailing behind a beaten and battered Ford F150. The driver is going fifteen kilometers below the posted speed limit. Following are many pairs of glaring eyes, fixed on the tailgate, from behind windshields and out driver's side windows. Double solid lines as far as the eye can see.

Standing at the checkout, you hold your 1 pack of gum, as the lady in front of you argues with the clerk over the exchange rate and how it should give her back 3 more cents. Then she has the gaul to ask that the sale be refunded so she can take her American bill back to pay in Canadian dollars because "every penny counts". Temperatures boil as the only checkout line gets longer and longer, meanwhile you are ready just to leave $5 and give the clerk a massive tip for your $1.29 pack of Trident, heaven knows she's earned it. If only your teeth didn't feel like 70's shag carpet, you might be tempted to forget the whole thing.

Minding your own business at the library, you spot out of the corner of your eye a technicolour blur that you are positive is some kind of pre-seizure event. You shake your head and make your way to the self-service kiosk, certain that you are about to start seizing. You mark your surroundings for any sharp corners that may break the skin and begin scanning your book about post-traumatic stress disorder in the dot com age, when all of a sudden, your visions return. This time, however, the blur is very much corporeal and belongs to the most pathetic creature you have ever beset your brown eyes upon. Dressed in her best 1970's muted green or brown (you are not sure which because of your apparent colour-blindness) too tightly fitting, for her given physique, floor length dress, with matching gaudy plastic costume jewelry, she saunters over to the next kiosk. You can't help but notice as she turns to smile at you, that her bright orange lipstick has somehow made its way onto her overbite. You smile back but wonder to yourself 'does no one love her, that they would let her escape her house and let her walk around in public looking like that?'.

If any of this feels vaguely familiar, no you are not in the twilight zone but have had a glimpse of that urban utopia know as Oblivia. I guess it's not so much a place as it is a state of mind. The fact that another place and time can exist where the rules that govern the rest of us have no meaning to those inhabitants of Oblivia, I find nothing short of remarkable. How can you function in our world and not realize that as you rummage through your purse for that last penny "you know is there cause you saw it this morning when you reorganized it yet again", a lineup of people has formed behind you, all willing to pay for your purchases. If only you would just stop talking about your sister's cat and its fight to survive on dollar store cat food and look up for once.

'Oh, I didn't see you there.' This is the mantra of the Obliviite. They begin their day by chanting this four or five hundred times and enter a type of unconsciousness where they are totally awake yet completely heedless of any needs other than their own.

Ah, to live amidst such unconcerned bliss, what a glorious dream that would be. Alas, but for the chosen few who make this their home we can only wonder and imagine what it would be like.

I love sarcasm.

It's a nice place to visit sometimes, but I certainly wouldn't want to live there. Oblivia, that is.

I'm happy to reside where I do.

Sarcasmia.

What is so amazing about grace?

2010-06-28T19:52:00.000-07:00

Grace - the free and unearned favour of God. (Oxford English Dictionary)
- mercy; clemency; pardon. (dictionary.com)
- God's unmerited favour.

When I think of grace, I am always reminded of the song "Amazing Grace" by John Newton. In it he calls himself a wretch. The history of that word describes someone who was an outcast, banished or exiled due to vile and despicable behaviour. Miserable and deplorable are also used to further bring full meaning to it. Indeed, his behaviour could be classed that way. He was involved in the slave trade in the 1740's and was convicted by the deplorable conditions that many slaves endured. He penned the song after his experiences of this time.

Most people, if they are honest with themselves, understand that we do some awful things to one another at least once in our lives. Some even show a pattern of such behaviour, at least to some degree. If you asked the average person on the street, however, I'm sure most would say they are a "good person" the majority of the time. Where the problem arises, is when we start comparisons.

For the comparison to be of any merit at all, we must compare our behaviour to a gold standard to see how far we deviate from that. The only gold standard that I can think of would be God himself. The problem, of course, is that God is not like us. He is the Supreme creator of all that we see. We could never possibly come close. Why not use the comparison of One whom He sent to live among us; to experience all that we would experience. Christ came to earth as a man and lived as a man would.

He did something, however, that we could not. He lived a perfect life. We do not.

How can we possibly measure up to perfection? For humanity, even at our greatest moments, we can only hope to come close to perfection, and this is at one single event in our lifetime. Christ did this every day He lived on earth.

He lived a perfect life and then He gave it all up for us. God sacrificed His only son so that we could have a way to spend eternity with Him in paradise. The only way that sacrifice has ANY meaning at all, is if it was a perfect one. It's not really a sacrifice if it's not worth losing in the first place.

How do we compare?

We lie. We get angry at one another for silly things. We hurt one another, especially the ones we love most. We concern ourselves with the desires of our hearts for our own gratification. We think of others much less than we think of ourselves. We deny the very existence of God. We are capable of unspeakable evil and quite often perpetrate it. We cheat. We kill. We speak without thinking, often saying things we don't mean just to hurt another. We do nothing when we should be doing everything. We keep silent when we should be shouting. We shout when we should keep silent. We do the opposite that Christ would have done.

Add it all up and the math does not work in our favour. Thankfully, there is a but. "There but for the grace of God go I". God lets us off the hook. We deserve everything that we should get, but God gives us all we do not deserve. We deserve His judgment and based on our own behaviour, that would be catastrophic. But God is merciful. He gives us blessings we do not deserve nor could we possibly earn through any act of our own. His grace is sufficient to cover all that we have done. "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith - and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God - not by works, so that no one can boast." Ephesians 2:9

What is a gift?

Is it not something freely given by another? God has given us a precious gift. He has given us the gift of His mercy. He has also given us grace, even though we can never possibly do anything on our own to ever deserve it.

It is tied up in the most beautiful package one could possibly imagine. All we have to do is open it. That is what is amazing. So simple.

Amazing grace, how sweet the sound. That sav'd a wretch like me.
I once was lost, but now am found, was blind, but now I see.
'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear, and grace my fears reliev'd;
How precious did that grace appear, the hour I first believ'd!
Thro' many dangers, toils and snares, I have already come;
'Tis grace has brought me safe thus far, and grace will lead me home.

John Newton had it right. Compared to Christ, we are wretched. Grace is amazing because it saves us from a fate worse than anything our imagination could even fathom. It is amazing because the grace of God is right there for us to experience.

Just open the box and it will lead you home.

Flowers of May

2010-05-15T21:52:00.000-07:00

Whenever May comes, I find myself getting nostalgic. I remember times as a boy, spent with my grandfather. Especially when I see those little white flowers that grow everywhere. He loved those flowers.

Whenever I see them, I think of him and smile.

You've heard the expression, "he'd give you the shirt off his back"? Well, I think it started with my grampie. I never heard him turn anyone down who asked for help. He would always be there willing to lend a hand, whether to fix a car, repair a fence or just listen when you needed an ear. I noticed especially once he and nannie were in the retirement home. He would routinely get groceries for the widow on the first floor and he was always available to change a light bulb or fix a leaky faucet. He was just there.

I remember running down the hall every time we came to visit just so I could be the first one in their apartment. Once there, I would jump into his lap and immediately demand a story. Of course, he was more than willing to oblige for his "Jonny". He would regale me of stories about sea battles, fights with lions (where he would routinely defeat the lion by "reaching into his mouth and turning him inside out") and fleeing from giants. I was in awe at the things he could do.

He would take the time to listen to everything you had to say, no matter how silly it seemed. Crows, most people would consider pests, but not grampie. He would feed them everyday. He used to talk to them as if they were his pets. He used to take me with him picking blueberries. We would traipse through the wilderness, miles from my house, at just the perfect spot, known only to him. I would run after him as he filled his own bucket, shouting "fill my bucket grampie". He would comply, after which I would promptly eat my berries so that it never seemed to change how many were getting picked by me. He never once complained. I don't think I ever saw him complain. About anything.

Except maybe when he was watching Atlantic Grand Prix Wrestling on the television. He would play cards with me for hours, never tiring of letting me win.

He was a remarkable man. I miss him.

Did you know that he got up every morning and made breakfast for nannie? Not just most mornings - EVERY morning without exception. He never took a day off. Nannie had Multiple Sclerosis and had difficulty walking, so gramp went out of his way to make sure that she was taken care of. They were the ultimate old married couple. Never was a harsh word said between them, but neither did they say one to anyone else. The love they had for each other - I have not seen its like since.

It is he that I try to model my life after. When I look back at my life so far, I see many missed opportunities. Those times when you knew what the right thing to do was, but didn't quite respond that way. I'm sorry grampie. You would expect more of me, but I know if you were here, you would love me all the same.

I know the angels are smiling right now as he tells them of the time he fought a lion...with his bare hands.

Tell me a story.

A large dose of perspective

2010-05-13T07:29:00.000-07:00

Have you ever had one of those days where nothing seemed to go right? Where everyone had a personal grudge against you? Whatever you touched turned into a problem? Add to that, the phone "ringing off the hook" (all 4 of them) and you have a recipe for disaster.

That was my day yesterday. Ask yourself what you would do in that situation? My immediate response was wanting to go off into some dark corner and cry. "Can someone stop this ride, I wanna get off!" People that don't work in pharmacy have no idea what goes on behind the scenes. You have hundreds of people every day looking out for their own health needs without concern for anyone else. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that everyone is selfish when it comes to that, but...actually that's exactly what I'm saying.

At a pharmacy, it matters not how many people are waiting ahead of them or how many prescriptions they are getting filled, people expect immediate results. After all, "you just have to stick a label on a box, don't you? How long does that take?" Grrrrr!

But I digress. As I was wallowing in my self pity and mounting anger at people in general and my profession in particular, I read an email that my wife had sent me. It was about the Master's golf tournament and one golfer's ability to smile through all that he was going through. His mother and wife were both battling breast cancer and yet this man was out there smiling whether he hit a good or bad shot. While all the press was about Tiger Woods and his remarkable comeback, this man was quietly going about his business amid unbelievable pressure to win. All he did was smile even though this pressure was immense. That and win. Phil Mickelson won the Masters again and was met by his wife in the scorer's tent. He then produced his largest smile and everything else was forgotten. The only thing that mattered to him was his wife.

As I read that, I was overcome with how selfish I had been. The word 'perspective' immediately came to mind. I was no better than the patient that believes they are the only one with problems and want their prescriptions at once no matter how many are waiting ahead of them.

I could be without a job.
I could have an incurable disease.
I could be alone.
I could be unloved.
I could be without the joy of children.
I could be living on the street.
I could have no friends.
I could be fighting everyday just to survive.
I could be persecuted for my beliefs.
I could be unknown by the very Creator of all.

But I'm not.

Perspective. It is a powerful word. But to keep it - that is the tricky part. Tricky yes, but not impossible. Things could always be worse than they are.

When I find myself losing it, I will remember Phil.

And smile.

Taking the first step

2010-05-10T21:23:00.000-07:00

Do you remember the movie "Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade"? The part where our hero looks out over the precipice leading to oblivion (at least according to what he can see). In order to save his father he must take a "step of faith from the lion's head"? He can see the other side, but there is no way to reach it from where he now stands.

Can you imagine the fear he must have felt?

All he can see is an endless darkness before him.

Sometimes life is like that. In the midst of things, all around is darkness and despair. Every day we see the depravity before us from all parts of the world. All manner of evil is perpetrated on behalf of someone with a not-so-hidden agenda. To elevate himself at the expense of some poor unfortunate, with neither the will nor the means to free themselves. I can only imagine how the Lord's heart is grieved over such atrocities.

John 10:10 says "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy...". People are free to believe what they want, but make no mistake - the Deceiver is out there amidst all this. It is he that is at the heart of this darkness, moving his pawns in an attempt to supplant the Lord and what He would do for us - "...I have come that they may have life and have it to the full."

How many times have I found myself thinking how hard taking that next step is? Is it really worth the effort?

For years I have been telling myself that I want to be a writer, but for whatever reason I have failed to make the effort. Everything I have read tells me that it is difficult to become a writer. It is filled with pitfalls and disappointment; long hours and loneliness; longing and heartbreak.

To become what you have long wished for but dared not dream lest it pass through your fingers like thousands of grains of sand - true despair when you know you were made for this.

Look out over that abyss with our hero. What do you see? Nothing but darkness? Ah, but you forget that He has come that we may have life. Would there not be a way if He wanted us to make that step?

He makes the step into nothing...solid ground meets his foot, not death. For all appearances, that was the end, a step off the cliff, falling to his death below. But, what is different?

It's simple.

Faith. Simple faith. He had faith that the ones who had written the words meant for someone to follow in their footsteps one day. He had a noble purpose - to save his father, and he felt the need to make that step no matter the cost to himself.

I feel that God has placed this desire within my heart for a reason. The only problem with this is the first step is up to me. Do I have what it takes to make it? If it were just up to me, I think the answer might be no, but thankfully it is not.

After all these years, I'm finally coming to the realization that the reason I have never forgotten the desire to write is because God has not let me. He has faith in me because it is He that has given me these longings. Years have passed but the tools have remained, dormant though they may be.

I know I don't have all the tools I need yet but now I have what I always lacked.

Faith. Simple faith.

I will put my trust in God. Trust that He knows what He is doing through me and He will give me all I need and guide my steps.

I will take the first step and trust Him to guide me through the subsequent ones.

In the studio?

2009-09-29T21:37:00.000-07:00

It's nice to stretch yourself sometimes, isn't it? I think I did just that tonight.

Ever found yourself singing along to a tune on the radio and thinking to yourself "I could do this"?
Well, it ain't as easy as it looks. I was stretched tonight in the recording studio of all places. I know, I know, you're thinking, 'I didn't even know that guy could sing'. Some people might even agree that I can't. (The jury is still out, by the way.) But, crazy as it sounds, I was there, laying down some BG vocals for my sister's first cd release.

You should check it out by the way...in stores soon... www.barbglennie.com
It's phenomenal!

Nothing is more humbling than being in that booth all by yourself and singing along to wonderful musicians and singers, all the while thinking to yourself, 'what are you doing in here?'

But, after I relaxed a little and "let myself go", everything went a lot smoother. It's amazing what a million dollar studio can do to a voice like mine :) Oh, that and a million dollar producer extraordinaire (Tim the enchanter).

I had a blast! Thanks Barb. People are going to talk about this cd! It is AWESOME!

Can't wait to be driving in my car and hear one of your songs on the radio so I can sing along.

Maybe it will even be one of the ones that I sang along to and stretched myself.

What are you waiting for?

2009-03-17T19:37:00.000-07:00

Ever wonder what takes people so long to accomplish certain tasks? Is it because they lack the skills to do it properly? Are they just naturally slow or so meticulous that paint drying seems instant in comparison? Or could it be that some of us are equipped with a laziness gene?

I think, when these people are honest with themselves, they will discover that this tends to be the case more often than not. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that everyone is imbued with this trait, but these types of tasks tend to be more difficult and time consuming. In order to do them well, it takes a Herculean effort on some people's part to get them accomplished. It's a lot of work and some couldn't be bothered because it's just easier to not try.

There, I said it. It's easier not to try.

I have always thought of myself (at least in my own mind) as a fair writer, but for whatever reason, have convinced myself out of attempting anything beyond short prose.

What if no one likes what I've written? What if they say it's less than passable? What if I fail and it IS NO GOOD? What if ... ad infinitum?

But what if it is good?

Anything I've ever read about writing says it is hard work. Effort is required. Blood, sweat and tears may be necessary. Laziness is not an option. It's not part of the plan.

"The sluggard buries his hand in the dish; he is too lazy to bring it back to his mouth." Proverbs 26:15

God has entrusted each one of us with a distinct set of skills and He calls us to use them for His glory. It's up to us to decide whether we will use them or not (to our own peril). You see, God will call us to account when the time is right.

"Again, it will be like a man going on a journey, who called his servants and entrusted his property to them. To one he gave five talents of money, to another two talents, and to another one talent, each according to his ability. Then he went on his journey. The man who had received the five talents went at once and put his money to work and gained five more. So also, the one with the two talents gained two more. But the man who had received the one talent went off, dug a hole in the ground and hid his master's money. After a long time the master of those servants returned and settled accounts with them." Matthew 25:14-19.

I have read this passage several times before but have just grasped what it could mean in my life. I would not consider myself a wicked person. But after reading this passage, I have changed my mind.

"Then the man who had received the one talent came. 'Master,' he said, 'I knew that you are a hard man, harvesting where you have not sown and gathering where you have not scattered seed. So I was afraid and went out and hid your talent in the ground. See, here is what belongs to you. 'His master replied, 'You wicked, lazy servant! So you knew that I harvest where I have not sown and gather where I have not scattered seed? Well then, you should have put my money on deposit with the bankers, so that when I returned I would have received it back with interest. 'Take the talent from him and give it to the one who has the ten talents. For everyone who has will be given more, and he will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken from him. And throw that worthless servant outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.' "
Matthew 25:24-30.

It may seem at first glance that this is completely over the top and not relative to our situation but I don't think it is. The purpose of a parable is to allow the people to grasp the principles that God wants us to understand that we would not ordinarily. If we apply the principle found here, God will bless us with more. If we don't and choose not to use the talents God has given us -He will take away what we already have.

Scary, is it not?

What if?

Big question.

The only way to truly answer it...do it and find out.

God will bless it IF you do.

Apathy thy name is man

2008-03-30T19:04:00.000-07:00

Why would God bestow a gift and then let the gifted one waste it. The wonder of God is also the blessing of choice that He gives us. We are free to do with our gifts what we wish, for good or ill. For me that often manifests itself in my eternal enemy - apathy.

"The way of the lazy is as a hedge of thorns, but the path of the upright is a highway." Proverbs 15:19

I wouldn't necessarily classify myself as being completely upright, nor would I say that I am completely lazy either. I do imagine myself being something more than I am, however.

I can see that impediment in front of me at times - the hedge of thorns - barricading the way that I need to go. What fortitude it would take to get through it. Thorns would make it uncomfortable, painful even. It`s probably not worth the effort anyway. Imagine what I could accomplish if I had that open highway in front of me. It would be easy, wouldn`t it.

"All things are difficult before they are easy." Dr. Thomas Fuller, 1732

God does not put anything in our path that we are not fully equipped to deal with already. Each one of us has within ourselves the ability to accomplish the task, if not the desire. There is the crux of the matter, though - desire - how strong is it within us. For without the desire, we can accomplish nothing and we can be just that, nothing.

Apathy - Lack of interest, concern, or emotion; indifference.
The trait of lacking enthusiasm for or interest in things generally.

If you have a lack of interest in things generally, what keeps you breathing. What is the purpose of your existence. God did not create us for this, did He.

Absolutely not.

"We do not want you to become lazy, but to imitate those who through faith and patience inherit what has been promised." Hebrews 6:12

Ambivalence does not make a good companion. It gives rise to fear - fear that you are destined for nothing. A man that can look forward to nothing soon loses all hope and turns to despair. Despair is the enemy of hope and the tool of the devil.
The gifts that God so carefully placed within each of us begin to wither and die.

"In idleness there is a perpetual despair." Thomas Carlyle

I choose to believe that God has a plan for the gifts He has placed within me, so I will not despair. I choose not to be idle. I will have faith and be patient, learning to master my gifts.

I long for my inheritance.

I desire to be more than nothing.

Gone so long

2008-02-19T06:05:00.001-08:00

OK so I know it's been forever since I blogged. Not that things haven't been happening. The adoption is coming along swimmingly. South Africa is the country, and we will be getting a little girl between 18-36 months. The surprising part for me is how quickly this is all going to happen. We will probably have her by the fall, or even as early as August. So now my mind is in a bit of a whirl, thinking of how we'll fit all the boys furniture into one room (actually, it can't be done, so it's more like figuring out what furniture they can do without for a few years), and the best way to cover that RED paint on the walls in J's room. Not really a little girl color. Once W's old enough to have a room in the basement, they won't have to share anymore, but right now there is no bathroom down there, no interior walls, and that will be quite a job to complete. We'll get it done, but I'm not ready for him to be sleeping down there yet anyway.

And then there's the other surprise- airfare. We had enough aeroplan miles to get two of the four of us to China, as a return ticket costs 75000 miles. I looked up South Africa- it's 130,000 each. Yikes. So I am asking all of my family not to give me birthday or Christmas presents this year. I want any of their extra aeroplan miles they'd like to contribute to the cause- it doesn't have to be a lot, but I figure every little bit helps.

Everything else goes well. The house is great, the new pets are great. Volunteering at the church office a day a week rocks- the boys love their sitter and I love the break. But I am looking forward to vacation- we leave next week for a week in the sunny south, lots of golfing and shopping. And relaxing. Yay- it will be lovely. If we can get through all the snow on the way.

Never

2007-10-23T14:43:00.000-07:00

Never is an awfully long time, isn't it? We find ourselves saying things like "it'll never happen" or "I'll never do that" but more often than not, that never is exactly what happens. We should immediately be on alert when we hear ourselves say that word. Change is coming.

But there are times when 'never' should be welcomed as a long lost friend.

Never give up.

People make commitments so lightly these days. It has gotten to the point where we change our minds like the weather. Our word means nothing. This marriage thing is too hard, let's just stop. Give up, we're too different, I'll just find someone else that understands me better. We have become a society of quitters. It's all about me and what I want, who cares who gets hurt as long as my needs are taken care of. Numbers 30:2 says "a man who makes a vow to the Lord or makes a pledge under oath must never break it. He must do exactly what he said he would do." That means if we promise to do something, then we must do it. Period.

Here's a news flash. Life is HARD. God didn't tell us it would be a bed of roses. What He did tell us, however, is that He would be with us, no matter what and that He would never leave us nor forsake us.

Psalm 62:2 "He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress where I will never be shaken."

How many times can we count where we gave up on someone because we thought they'd never change? I'm ashamed to say that it has happened of me more times than I care to remember. Can you imagine if Jesus gave up on us after we messed up... yet again. But He doesn't, nor will He, ever! We must do the same. Proverbs 3:3 "Never let loyalty and kindness leave you! Tie them around your neck as a reminder. Write them deep within your heart." Proverbs 27:10a "Never abandon a friend".

"Don't give up, you still have friends." - Peter Gabriel

Never give in.

We are bombarded by temptation, day in and day out. We only sin when we give in to it. We get into trouble the more times we give in, because it gets easier, the more we do. Who would like to hear this from the Father, "I never knew you. Get away from me, you who break God’s laws"? - Certainly not I. Instead, we are instructed in James 4:7 "so humble yourselves before God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you." Satan is seeking to destroy you, by any and all means. You are a danger to him. He is terrified of what you would become. Don't let him take you out. The words of Winston Churchill come to mind, "we will never surrender."

Follow God's word. It has the answers. Mark 13:31 "Heaven and earth will disappear, but my words will never disappear." The Son is the way to the Father.

John 10:28 "I give them eternal life, and they will never perish. No one can snatch them away from me." We can be His. Give your life to Him.

So the next time you hear yourself utter the word never, make sure it echoes the promises of the One who is worthy of all our praise. Amen.

Falling, continued

2007-10-21T19:55:00.000-07:00

The leaves continue to fall.

Fall - to lose position; to decline in value.

How quickly things fall from favour? In vogue one moment and passe the next. It's sad how people are treated the same way sometimes. Often told that they are of little value or even worse, completely worthless. The problem of course is that this lie is believed far too frequently and they are left with nothing to hope for. If only they knew my Jesus, lover of the unloved. Everyone has value to Him.

Fall - to cease to resist a temptation.

We will always be tempted. Our Lord was tempted when He was on earth. He resisted. We can resist, if we rely on Him to help us. The reason he stayed perfect was that ability to resist that He possessed. Never cease to resist. The more we do, the easier it gets, until there comes a time when we simply do it because we want to, consequences be damned. Resist, for your very life depends on it.

Fall - to be captured.

Ever consider what it would feel like to be in a battle and become captured by the enemy? Would they torture you and demand information? Would you be able to withstand it and keep your side's secrets secure? We are in a battle against the armies of the deceiver, the father of lies. Every time we fall victim to one of his deceptions, we betray our side. The Lord, in His infinite wisdom, has seen fit to allow us to approach His throne of grace. We can be free, if we lay these burdens down at His feet. Always remember this; the battle has already been won by our Lord. But watch out for the schemes of the enemy, too. 1 Peter 5:8 "Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour."

Fall - to be taken.

Deuteronomy 32:2 "Let my teaching fall on you like rain; let my speech settle like dew. Let my words fall like rain on tender grass, like gentle showers on young plants."

Psalm 37:24 "Though they stumble, they will never fall, for the Lord holds them by the hand."

I am taken. I am His.

Are you?

Falling

2007-10-21T19:01:00.000-07:00

Fall - to lose balance and drop to the ground.

This season we call autumn or fall is a time of change. The trees lose their leaves and prepare for the long winter. While looking out the window from our new house that God has seen fit to bless us with, I am graced with the sight of falling leaves of the most beautiful colours. God in His wisdom has created such a marvelous display for us, if we only take the time to look out our own windows to see it.

Fall - to allow oneself to drop to the ground or to one's knees.

If only we allowed ourselves more of this opportunity. Simply to fall on our knees before the Creator and thank Him for the beauty He has placed before us. What a shame that most of God's people go through their lives and notice nothing of God's immeasurable creation. Most are content to stay within their own self-imposed prison of mediocrity, waiting for something more.

Fall - to become lower in degree.

It's interesting how many people would consider this as a very bad thing. Our own Lord, became a servant and washed His disciples feet, something most would definitely fell beneath them. Jesus, with utmost humility, performed this task as the highest calling of God; as should we.

Fall - to be killed, as in battle.

The ultimate sacrifice. No more noble cause can I think of than to give your life for someone else. The Lord calls us to do just that. He did when he gave His own life for us to die that horrible death on the cross, so we wouldn't have to. The ultimate sacrifice for we are in a world at war.

The leaves continue to fall.

Fragile

2007-09-16T14:09:00.000-07:00

"How fragile we are, how fragile we are" Sting

I was reminded today of this. My sister related to our congregation, the anguish she felt when our nephew went home to be with his Lord; barely 18, a promising life cut short in an instant.

We are fragile.

A woman, full of anticipation for her upcoming wedding, receives a late night call that we all fear. Her fiance taken from her days before their life together was due to begin.

We are fragile.

A soldier, protecting people he doesn't even know, cut down by a roadside bomb. Widow clothed in black clutching a red and white flag, child by her side, not sure where his daddy is.

We are fragile.

Newlyweds, filled with joy at the thought of their first child, suddenly stunned by the news of a miscarriage. How can this be happening to them?

We are fragile.

What do these have in common? Yes, they show us the fragility of this earthly shell we inhabit. But what comes to my mind as well, is the fact that, as we grieve, Jesus grieves also. The God of the universe hurts when we hurt. He cries when we cry. He mourns when we mourn.

John 11:32,34-37 "When Mary arrived and saw Jesus, she fell at His feet and said 'Lord, if only You had been here, my brother would not have died.' 'Where have you put him?' he asked them. They told Him, 'Lord, come and see.' Then Jesus wept. The people who were standing nearby said, ' see how much he loved him!' But some said, 'this man healed a blind man. Couldn't he have kept Lazarus from dying?'"

The answer, of course, is yes. He could have at any moment, but this served God's purposes. That is the crux of the situation, though. We are not capable of understanding God and His plans, unless He makes it known to us. We must trust, that is all.

Because we are fragile, we must make the most of the time that we have.

"Every day is a gift, you've been given. Make the most of the time, every minute you're living."
"Life means so much" - Chris Rice

But we mean much more to Him.

Crying in the rain

2007-09-15T17:56:00.000-07:00

What do you fear?

I know that question is one that is difficult to answer because we all fear something. Some of us fear things that we probably shouldn't, while others have no fear of things that should scare them to death. Children are a perfect example of this.

Last night my son and I were watching a male bonding event, when it began to rain. Now rain on its own is not something that should invoke terror, but such is the power of fear over us at times. But it was also accompanied by wind, the kind that folds up umbrellas and makes skyscrapers sway. Lightning and thunder were sure to follow. All the powers of God amassed in one place and for one purpose, to bring destruction and death. At least that is how it seemed to an eight year old boy.

"I look to You for protection. I will hide beneath the shadow of Your wings until the danger passes by."-Psalm 57:1

"Even when I walk through the dark valley of death, I will not be afraid, for You are close beside me." Psalm 23:4.

Those words are often hard to bring to mind when you are in the midst of something truly terrifying. The Lord has promised to take care of us and protect us from those things that would truly bring us death. Eternal separation from Him. Sometimes our troubles seem so big to us that we forget the promises of God.

Really the only thing we need fear is Him.

Children often forget that.

But we are all children.

The Path Less Chosen

2007-09-10T17:49:00.000-07:00

I was out in the woods recently, enjoying the peacefulness, when I came across what looked like a path in the woods. On first glance it looked like any other section of wilderness. But on closer examination, it actually was a path, overgrown with branches and bushes and the like. It was obvious, at least to me, that this had once been a path used for some purpose.

What might it have been used for? Not quite sure. I could speculate, but I'll leave that up to you.

Why go that way? It's unknown. Maybe there's something to be found at the end. Someone long ago travelled that way. Perhaps they left something behind, a link to who they were?

Then just last night I read this: Psalm 25
-v4 Show me the right path , O Lord; point out the road for me to follow.

-v8 The Lord is good and does what is right; He shows the proper path to those who go astray.

-v12 Who are those who fear the Lord? He will show them the path they should choose.

Crystal clear.

If we trust Him and put our faith in Him, He will lead us down the path we should follow. If we follow our own path without His leading, we go astray. But you know what, if we take a few steps backward to that place, He is waiting there for us.

As I followed that meandering once-path, overgrown and hard to follow, I began to get closer to my destination. It turned out that the path lead back to the house and only when I was at the end, looking back, did I see the same path open wide before me, free of obstacles.

Such is life, full of the same types of paths. When we look all we see are the vines and branches and weeds blocking the path, making it almost impossible to follow. Sometimes we don't even see the path we are so caught up in the troubles of the path. Jesus wants us to trust Him and take that narrow, sometimes obstacle-filled path. He has wonderful things in store for us if we do.

Matthew 7:13-14 … “Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.”

I choose to follow that path. Come with me.

Cleansing

2007-06-30T12:36:00.000-07:00

Have you ever really thought about Paul's words in Romans? You know the ones I mean - the ones that tie your brain in knots. "For the good that I will to do, I do not do; but the evil I will not to do, that I do do...etc" My brain aches after reading that, but it is so true. Especially when you look back, with a critical eye, mind you (because we can all justify almost everything we do) on your past actions.

While I was outside today, I came across some pages from a devotional that talked about changing the way we do things. You look back at some of the mistakes you've made, then instead of learning from them, you repeat them. What was it that Paul said, I can't seem to remember...

Can you picture a quickly darkening sky - one in which you can almost see the rain in the clouds longing to escape? Have you ever stood under those same clouds as the rain is cascading down over you? I did today. As the rain drenched my clothes, I could see only about five feet in front of me. The picture I received was not being able to see my past because of the circumstances around me. When the rain started to let up, I smiled to myself, as I realized how the cleansing rain had cleared my vision. Then as the sky became bright once more, all that remained was light. I was still soaked, but I had a new appreciation for what had just occurred.

Would that our lives held that same promise.

They do, by the way.

Enveloped

2007-06-29T10:45:00.000-07:00

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to live in a simpler time? It seems to me that in today's society, we are being targeted by every Joe retailer trying to sell us things we don't need. No longer are our electronic gizmos any good, becoming archaic the moment they are released. We live in a land where, if you don't have the latest, greatest or fastest (fill in the blank) you are not where its at. Well I , for one, long for a time of simplicity.

The reason this comes to my mind stems from something I saw the other night. While driving home around 11pm, I witnessed a sight in the sky that captured my imagination. Picture, if you will, a skyline dominated by a bright, fullish type moon. It was if it were much earlier in the day, so bright was the sky. Now imagine how that scene would change if a massive, sky enveloping ebony cloud were to swallow that moon in a matter of minutes. It was a picture that will not soon leave my soul, partly because it will never be repeated in quite that same way ever again. But also because it made me think how we get swallowed up so easily by earthly concerns.

Have you ever been cut off in traffic? Told for the seventh time that "your call is very important to us, please stay on the line..."? Waited for something to come from the gov't that you'd already requested on 2 separate occasions? Is it not amazing that these simple things cause us to come unglued and lose all sense of decorum? These are the types of unimportant situations, and some even less so, that plague us into reacting like complete idiots.

Every time I see the moon now I will reflect on how those little inconveniences of life have affected me. Have I passed the test? I'll let you know. Next time you find yourself grousing over these things, look up.

Trapped

2007-06-24T19:13:00.000-07:00

As I sit down to write this, my first blog, my eye catches a glimpse of something beyond the glass. An epic struggle for survival is going on just outside the window. Until moments before, I was totally oblivious to the battle as it is unfolding. I see, trapped in a spider's web, a firefly, it's very life hanging by a thread, literally.

How often do we see this same picture as our lives unfold before us? That same scene is carried out under our noses every day, yet we remain oblivious.

A faint flicker of light is all I see that indicate traces of life. The spider, at some unknown stage in the cycle, goes about its task with practiced precision. The light show fades. Only a matter of time before the fly is finished its struggling.

Struggle is a theme that allows us to shape who we are, what we can become. Without it, we continue to do the same things, day after day, losing some small part of us. It is a necessary evil.

A part of me wants to go outside and squash the spider, freeing the fly to continue its journey. But the balance must be maintained, God's grand design allowed to preside over nature. In a far corner of the web, a movement catches the spider's attention. With graceful steps, the spider speeds to the cause of the disturbance. As my eyes return to the firefly, to my amazement, it has escaped the trap for freedom. I rejoice.

Would that our own lives have such triumph. The struggle to break free from the bonds that keep us trapped is one not so easily won. When I find myself bound in such fetters, often of my own making, may God find me well-equipped. I long for the battle, yet fear the results. May I not be found lacking.

As I take another look at the web, I notice the spider has moved on to another target, this one not so lucky. The spider spins its web around a tiny fly, its struggling over. I see the Lord's handiwork in the spider, yet it too is in a struggle against others wishing to make lunch out of it. We are, after all, in a world at war.

E